Hello everyone,
Today, I would like to share some thoughts on a situation that most of us have encountered at some point in life: whether we should argue with other people.
Throughout our lives, we interact with many different people. Some are easy to get along with, while others are not. Because of this, disagreements are almost inevitable. Many people choose to argue, or even fight, in order to defend their ego or prove themselves right. However, arguments and physical confrontations often leave behind many negative consequences.
In my view, conflicts usually fall into one of two situations.
The first situation is when I am wrong but still want to argue as if I were right. In this case, there is really no reason to continue arguing, because I am already in the wrong.
The second situation is when I believe I am right and want to defend my position. In this case, I think it is important to carefully consider the consequences that may result from arguing or fighting.
I do not know with certainty whether human beings live only one life or whether there are future lives beyond this one. However, if this life is the only one we have, then living with kindness and integrity can still bring many benefits. People are more likely to respect and appreciate us, our work may go more smoothly, and when difficulties arise, others may be willing to help.
On the other hand, if there are future lives, then according to the principle of karma, good actions performed in this life may lead to favorable outcomes and greater blessings in future existences. Likewise, harmful actions may bring unfavorable consequences, whether in this life or in lives to come.
This reminds me of a teaching attributed to the Buddha concerning the suffering of hell realms. Many people know that hell is described as a place of great suffering, but it is difficult to imagine the extent of that suffering.
According to the story, a thief was captured and punished three times each day—morning, noon, and evening. Each time he was stabbed one hundred times, for a total of three hundred wounds every day, yet he did not die. The pain was described as unimaginably severe. Nevertheless, the Buddha taught that even such suffering was insignificant compared with the suffering experienced in hell.
To illustrate this difference, the pain of being stabbed three hundred times a day was compared to a single grain of sand, while the suffering of hell was compared to an entire mountain. The difference was beyond measurement.
The Buddha also taught that if one falls into realms such as hell or the animal realm, it is extremely difficult to be reborn as a human being again. The time required to regain a human birth may be extraordinarily long.
To explain this, he used a famous analogy. Imagine a wooden yoke with a small hole floating aimlessly across the ocean, driven by winds from every direction. Beneath the water lives a blind turtle that surfaces only once every one hundred years. The probability that the turtle would place its head through the hole in the floating yoke is almost impossible to imagine.
The Buddha taught that obtaining a human rebirth is even more difficult than that.
For this reason, I believe it is wise to avoid harmful and unwholesome actions, so that we do not create unnecessary suffering for ourselves, whether in this life or in whatever may follow.
Returning to the original question: should we argue or fight with other people?
My view is that, when necessary, we should simply express our perspective. If we are wrong, we should acknowledge it. If we are right, we can explain our position without allowing greed, anger, or delusion to take control in an attempt to win at all costs.
If another person is mistaken, that is ultimately their responsibility. However, if we become consumed by anger, insult others, use words that cause harm, or engage in physical conflict, then we ourselves are creating harmful consequences through our own actions, consequences that may affect us both now and in the future.
Therefore, whenever possible, when anger arises—and arguments often come together with anger—I try to exercise restraint and avoid actions that may cause harm to myself or others.
Thank you for taking the time to read.